Sting or the Stab?

They said trust was smooth as skin,
no creases, flawless in the beginning.
Then we start trusting that trust,
it’s shine, it’s beauty and it’s ability to not burst.

Then comes enemies, sturdy as swords,
breaking, tearing the skin which we’ve come to adore.
Held by the people who came for moments,
only to uproot, to scar, to fight like Greeks and Romans

Yes, they were strong and immensely deadly,
but still less fatal than the people who were friendly.
For the friends attacked with the mighty needle,
which was small and sneaky, leaving everything in upheaval.

It didn’t tear, it didn’t scar,
it worked underneath to make things bizarre.
It unraveled the skin, it destroyed the faith,
it made us bring our own doom, turning us into wraiths.

It filled everything with nothing,
bringing the punishment for trusting.
Trusting the friend who stabbed in your back,
the friend who should have walked with you in the night-black.

So the sting overruled the stab.
As the friendly hand led to a trap.
Where I was stuck broken and distraught,
with no hope, no power, no motive to get out of that wretched spot.

-Another Mask

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Papa

‘Papa !’ I screamed taking my first steps

And you ran clapping towards me,
I babbled on holding you finger,
Dreaming to be free.

Papa,
come play with me please!
You lifted me up
and introduced me to the wind, the breeze.

Papa,
Let’s go out!
You smiled holding the keys,
without a moment’s hesitation or doubt.

Papa,
Why are your hair turning grey ?
‘It’s the age my child
Signs of my days.’

Papa,
Why don’t you listen !
‘One minute beta’ you said,
as your hard work glistened.

Papa,
Stop restricting me now !
Always disapproving,
discouraging me somehow!

Papa
I don’t want to talk to you,
Do this ! do that !
Never permitting me to try something new !

Papa,
Why aren’t you talking now !
Fine! I too am your daughter,
so even I won’t bow !

Papa,
I thought glum and sad.
I am sorry for every word I said
as I was mad.

Papa,
I am sorry for being rude.
I am sorry for the words that hurt,
for the wretchedness of my mood.

Papa,
but please listen to me.
I am not a kid or naive anymore,
as I was at three.

Papa,
with your blessings this gudiya of yours grew.
Standing on her feet,
just like you wanted her to.

But Papa,
I miss the finger you held out for me,
The warmth of your hug,
whenever I sat on you knee.

Papa,
Your gudiya never says it just like you never do,
but she truly means it as her heart sings
in resonance with yours ‘i Love you’.

‘Father’ a word so strong that you feel secure whenever it is spoken.

We fight the most with our fathers as they always with the purpose of protecting us, try their best to protect and we with our goals of freedom misunderstand it as restrictions. And so the rift develops, you fight, you shout, you accuse.

But despite the fights, our father’s never ever leave us, their strengths, their silent unsaid love stays with us. Their guidance and their understanding always stays even when they are gone.

My father calls me gudiya (hindi for doll), he always has numerous names for different occasions but gudiya was his favourite. ‘Gudiya I said no’, ‘Gudiya stop arguing’, I always thought during such arguments that why is he so over protective ! I am not a kid anymore but during such fights I guess I always forgot, that for him, I will always be that little toddler running towards him with big innoncet eyes, depending on him for everything.

While I was writing this poem the words just flowed out. Because behind those words and those stupid fights one truth prevails, that both of us love each other a lot and there is nothing which can change this fact not even ‘the no talking phase’ or those terrible fights. Because this gudiya loves her papa, just like her papa loves her ❤️

So this one is for you Papa !

-Another Mask

I Smiled

I smiled as you said hello.
I smiled as you bellowed.
I smiled as you hurt me again.
I smiled as I was filled with pain.

I smiled as I found love.
I smiled as I reached for the sky above.
I smiled as I ran behind time.
I smiled as I slipped on the climb.

I smiled as I sat down.
I smiled as I hid that frown.
I smiled as I held my breath.
I smiled as I longed for death.

I smiled as I felt tricked.
I smiled as I was the wicked.
I smiled as I created the trap.
I smiled as I was slapped.

I smiled as I wronged you again.
I smiled as I faced the rain.
I smiled as you gifted me betrayl.
I smiled as I presented another potrayl.

I smiled as I detested everything.
I smiled as humans fought to be kings.
I smiled as the world crashed.
I smiled as happiness was thrashed.

I smiled as I looked at you.
I smiled as I flew.
I smiled as I broke down.
I smiled as I wore that crown.

I smiled as my mom rocked me to sleep.
I smiled as my father taught me how love is deep.
I smiled as my siblings joked around.
I smiled as people left and were never found.

I smiled as tears rolled over the brim.
I smiled as goodness was trimmed.
I smiled as I continued walking on those infinite miles.
I smiled even though I hated such smiles.

– Another Mask

Heartbeat

I moved up,
I moved down,
I was crooked,
Like that frown.

I was blizzare,
I was jagged,
The cruel.
The fate of you, mostly tragic.

Did you know me ?
Maybe not.
But I knew you,
at every spot.

I felt you at every step,
The little tip toes,
The leaps,
the big jumps and your quiet weeps.

I was your ruler.
I was your foe.
The best friend, the enemy.
Pain at each blow.

I loved you,
I worshipped you,
I devoured you,
As you flew.

I was you,
when you lost
Victorious,
as you paid every cost.

I run with you,
and I never cheat.
For you lived with me
Always yours, your heartbeat.

-Another Mask

Day 3 : Quote 3

I would once again like to thank Lizardin Bain for inviting me for such an exciting task. It was such an amazing experience !

Rules:

  1. Thank the person who nominated you.
  2. Post a quote for three consecutive days (1 quote for each day).
  3. Share why this quote appeals so much to you.
  4. Nominate 3 different bloggers for each day.

So my quote for the day is :

The old memories brought smiles,
And the lack of new ones brought cries.

We all have said goodbyes at some point in our lives. All of us must have had said goodbye either to family or friends or even something as small as our childhood toys, favourite old baggy clothes and what not.

I too have been no exception to this rule. It was during one such moment of goodbye that I realised something.

I realised how whenever I remembered that person, that thing, the memory always brought a smile to my face. As I recalled the beautiful memories I always felt happy.

But there was always something sad, something painful about that memory. This sadness was not because of the memory itself or because I lost something or someone. This sadness was because there won’t be more memories to make because of that good-bye.

And so we treasure those glittery moments, with silent tears for something, someone which should have been with us to make the memory more wonderful, more memorable.

🙂

Nominees :

  1. Baffy Basics
  2. Brenda Davis Harsham
  3. Juansen Dizon

Day 2 : Quote 2

I would like to thank Lizardin Bain for inviting me for such an exciting task. Everyone please do visit the site, the writings are amazing, beautiful and full of inspiration!

Rules:

  1. Thank the person who nominated you.
  2. Post a quote for three consecutive days (1 quote for each day).
  3. Share why this quote appeals so much to you.
  4. Nominate 3 different bloggers for each day.

So my quote for the day is :

So I turned my face towards the stars who for some reason have stopped shinning in this glowing dark.

All of us make one mistake. The mistake of trusting or rather depending on someone else.

We start trusting those people, those constants of light, those stars to such an extent that their absence makes us blind.

The second these stars disappear, the darkness overpowers. The darkness might not be so strong, but it’s the sudden blindness that leave us devastated. For we never expected betrayed, loneliness, isolation from the people whom we love. And it’s this blow which breaks our spirit.

🙂

Nominees:

  1. Shreya Vohra
  2. Swati C.
  3. My Valiant Soul

Day 1 : Quote 1

I would like to thank Lizardin Bain for inviting me for such an exciting task. Everyone please do visit the site, the writings are amazing, beautiful and full of inspiration!

Rules:

  1. Thank the person who nominated you.
  2. Post a quote for three consecutive days (1 quote for each day).
  3. Share why this quote appeals so much to you.
  4. Nominate 3 different bloggers for each day.

So my quote for the day is :

Courage to Say,

Courage to Stay,

Courage to Be,

Courage to Fly Free.

This quote is really close to me as each one of us needs courage at almost every point in our lives. We need to be courageous while fighting with our demons, we need to be courageous while going through our daily jobs, we even need to be courageous while getting up in the morning !

Courage is not always a brave face. For me courage is everywhere. Maybe sometimes the magnitude of that courage is small but it is present.

Courage is a child learning to walk,

A stammer learning to talk,

A worker working extra hard,

Crying after every rejection, Evey discard.

Courage is starting something new,

Ending something old,

Getting up,

Falling down,

Saying hi,

Forgetting with a goodbye.

Courage is needed even in just existing. It takes courage to be courageous.

Each one is a fighter, each one is brave, each one is courageous because each one of us try and there is strength in each of these small actions.

So smile because you are courageous as you speak your mind.

Smile because you are courageous as you decide to not give up.

Smile because you are courageous as you try to be better.

Smile because you are Courageous as you soar when you succeed.

🙂

My nominees :

  1. Zaroffpoetry
  2. Vinay Shankar
  3. Of Sky and Stars